April 15 Tea Party

We’ve been reading lately about all the little “Tea Parties” going on in various state capitols (TEA being an acronym for Taxed Enough Already). People are gathering to protest, carrying signs, and making clever remarks to the media such as, “My daughter’s piggy bank is not the government’s ATM.”

It’s all very thrillingly American, what with a history that includes the Boston Tea Party and our limited capacity to accept an expensive monarchy. I'm rather excited by it.

Regardless of where one stands on the political spectrum, this is some bona fide American spirit at its most elemental. Gets my dander up! Piques my interest! And not only that, but I’m a bit of a tea connoisseur as well and couldn’t resist taking a peek at what was going to be on the menu. Here’s an advance copy:

Green Tea
Ground up from the huge wad of dollar bills that were wrested out of our cold, stiff, taxpaying fingers.

Black Tea
What we would drink if we could ever get out of the red.

Decaffeinated Tea
The empty rhetoric Congress always wants to pass off as relevant (seems like the real thing, but they’re only shooting blanks).

Iced Tea
Goes well with a slice of “pie in the sky.”

Peppermint Tea
Bought in bulk to help stave off the forthcoming national ulcer crisis.

“Camo”mile Tea
New taxes brewing you can’t see coming.

White Tea
The politically incorrect drink of middle America and Czarist Russia.

“Suite” Tea
A special dispensation available only to bailed out executives. (Comes a bonus pot, private jet, and 18k strainer.)

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