Days of Whine and Poses

Tips to fight “recession weight gain.” Yeah, that was a real article. I sort of read part of it, but got bored because I was thinking, “Exactly how is this different from the ‘Eating Häagen-Dazs at 10:30 p.m. while watching Stargate Atlantis re-runs’ weight gain?”

Newsflash: There is no difference. Weight gain is no respecter of economy or metabolism. So to the thinker it becomes immediately obvious – such a ridiculous story must be the unholy offspring of the ‘slow news day.’

Slow news days are responsible for most of the mischief in the history of the world. Off the top of my head I can think of (1) Octo-Mom doing anything, (2) Oprah finding out about Twitter a good six months after everyone else, and (3) OMG! There’s a swine flu pandemic.

Hmmm. Pandemic is a rather serious word, and it’s making people just nuts. Some fear it’s the apocalypse. Others say a terrorist plot. Personally… well, let’s just say that if there are any black helicopters circling, they’re dropping “socialized medicine” leaflets.

For now, I’d rather not have one thing more to worry about. I mean, geez, this recession is already killing my waistline.