When my mother was a little girl growing up in the 1950s south, there was a working girl in their small resort town who habitually wore dangle earrings. Since the 1950s were possibly the most uptight era of American history, those dangling bobs stood out aggressively amongst all the trim pin curls and clip-ons of the general female population. As a result, my mother deemed such earrings as “trashy.”
For years I believed fervently in the trashiness of dangle earrings.
However, as I matured into young womanhood I began to feel their sirens’ call. Away at college I would sneak and wear dangle earrings as part of my wild new individualism. (Clearly I needed to get out more.)
Eventually I came to realize that perfectly respectable women wore dangle earrings – that it was a personal taste preference – and that my mother was, um, wrong in her absolute prejudice.
All this said, I have to confess that I grew up in an era that was not tattoo-friendly and it affected my opinion of them. Men with tattoos were merchant marines, and tattooed women were… well, either circus freaks or biker chicks.
But God, He loves a good laugh. So what happens but my teenage daughter goes out and gets a rather large tattoo (see above).
Despite heroic efforts to NOT turn into my mother, I struggled with the whole judgment thing and ardently fought that tattoo for a couple of years. She would mention her desire to acquire one and I would thunder about Biblical inferences or point out they were “trashy.”
Then I came across this octogenarian woman – her skin mottled with tats and still proudly displayed courtesy of a rather skimpy sundress. I did not think of this woman as trashy. Instead, I saw a person who was probably a WAVES vet from WWII (based on some of the body art) – and clearly someone of intense personality and spunk. I personally didn’t want her tats, but then, they were her tats. They were part of her style and personality.
And all of a sudden I realize cultural things like that are perspective-based. There’s no objective connection between “goodness/badness” and a tattoo. As it turns out, it’s personal style like dying your hair or getting a tummy tuck or dieting. My perspective of tattoos was based on the culture trends of my youth, as was my mother’s unfortunate opinion of dangle earrings.
But trends change. That’s why they’re called trends. And it’s important to accept the outer accoutrements as just that – outer accoutrements. They do intentionally signal something personal about you, but it’s a wise and loving person who tries to see past the lens of their own limited experience to see the unique and beautiful package of each individual.
As it turns out, I rather like my daughter’s tattoo. On her. I’m still a “no-go” for a proposed mother-daughter matching set, but that’s because mine would not be authentic. (That is, I am so not cool enough to wear one.)
But then, you should see my kick-ass collection of dangle earrings.
><>
Posts
