We all know the economy's been in a bit of a downswing. And, knowing this, you probably figure we’d all tighten our belts and bone up on supply side economics etc., but no. We’ll do the only sensible thing one can do at a time like this.Buy stuff. Lots of stuff.
I was witness last weekend to the piranha-like purchasing habits of that very interesting species: humanus spendicus. In the common tongue, that means “people who shop prolifically at festivals, garage sales and flea markets.”
It’s nuts, I tell you. People will buy anything.
And do they even like this stuff? It’s not even possible. Face it – you got CAUGHT UP IN THE MOMENT. But it’s okay. It happens to the best of us. Let him who is without sin cast the first wreath made out of Pepsi cans.
There’s just something about the cloying aroma of hot dogs, caramel corn and wood smoke – it makes us want to buy. The bright colors of the patchwork quilted purses dazzle your senses. Being faced with a genuine sterling silver jewelry display that’s over three tables wide is positively hypnotic. And one can only stare stupidly when confronted with the myriad whirling mobiles and yard flags that beckon you like a seductive siren, “Come to my corner! Buy this tractor flag with the cleverly moving wheels!”
It’s worse than an opium den – and nearly as expensive.
You think we’d learn. But we don’t. As we greedily stuff our plastic bags with Indian corn and yard gewgaws, we don’t even realize that we’re subconsciously stocking our selves for next year’s garage sale. It’s the ultimate recycling project.
I have a sister who lives in the general vicinity of an annual phenomenon known as the Covered Bridge Festival. This girl is no economics slow coach, and smelling a ripe opportunity for what it is she sweeps out her garage at this time every year, stuffs it with her junk, my junk, my mother’s junk, my other sister’s junk (you get the idea) and offers it up to the teeming masses.
And I’m telling you, I never cease to be amazed at people’s appetite for a “bargain.”
Now, technically, a bargain is getting a good deal on something you actually need. But in reality, a bargain must be more loosely defined as something that is AMAZINGLY CHEAP.
I ask you, who needs an opened box of perfumed body powder? Well, no one. But for a quarter, it was a great BARGAIN.
Now, I’m not discounting (pardon the pun) the value of getting clothes for kids who will actually outgrow them before you even get home, and I’m all for getting a near-complete set of plastic dishes to put in the camper. It’s all that other crazy stuff I just don’t get – the gaudy glassware, the plastic drawer unit missing a wheel, the used snow cone machine.
But then there’s that old proverb: what is one person’s junk is another person’s treasure. And hey, festivals, flea markets, garage sales – all Americana at its autumnal best. It’s our little way to feel like the economy is under our control. It’s a reason to buy gas at four bucks a gallon so we can visit places like Yeddo, Steam Corner and Timbuktu.
But most of all, it’s that tremendous buzz we get when we successfully utter those immortal words: “You have $2 on this. Will you take $1?”
><>
Posts
